me: ma...I lost those old scarves...U r gonna get me new ones...eh??
mum: Go without a scarf..
me: WHAT??!! *mr priest* will kick me out then..
mum: I dunno...I'll get u one next month
me: NEXT MONTH??? MUMMMM!!
mum: or u wear a salwar...u only havta cover your head..
me: Do I even have one?!?!?!
mum:oh yeah...you adjust tomorrow...Ask your friends if they have extra scarves
me:uh!!
I decided to go scarf-less to the church...Afterall the 10 commandments(10 rules which all christians are expected to follow) has nothing to do with covering heads. But before that..I had one last place to search...my cupboard! yeah...that is the last place where I'd wanna search...it looks like a clean n perfect cupboard when viewed from outside. But it looks like a corporation dustbin when opened. So after I-dunno-how-many-years, I opened my rusty, old cupboard. There were clothes of all kinds....you know....very old school uniforms, old T-shirts and socks, an old saree of my mum (which I borrowed to make a tent...), colour pencils, sketch pens, my old barbie dolls(oh..they looked pathetic!!), CDs, powder tins, sunscreens, glitter lip gloss(I was searching for it all these years..but now I think itz too old to use:(..)...then a few bags, and clothes n clothes n more clothes....I have enough to run a big junk sale..My cupboard had everything which I thought was lost. But it did not seem to have my scarves...then I found an odd piece of cloth..a shawl? what was the shawl doing inside my cupboard??( Coz that is the last piece of cloth that you can expect to see inside my cupboard) It wasnt long enough to be my mum's...then? oh yeahh...I had a ghagra choli or something...oh..so finally!! something to wear that Sunday!! I tried the ghagra choli on...but it was a bit loose...Which ultimately meant that I lost weight!!kewl!! but I couldnt afford to wear something that wouldnt flatter my figure. I decided to stick on to my T-shirt n jeans..and the shawl of my ghaghra choli..it did not look that bad though..So with enormous satisfaction...I went to bed..
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It did not take much time for me to get ready for the church next day...Itz not coz I like the place so much..I was so desparate to get my catechism certificate..u cant even get married without that certificate!! damn!! Our horrible choir was there singing a familiar hymn...well..horrible in the sense..horrible singing....there are 7 members or so...and all the 7 of them sing in 7 different pitches(I think they r tone deaf)...for this reason...no instrumentalists dare to perform in our church!! anyway....I sat next to one of my old friends...she then started examining(and admiring) my new bracelet...the mass started when the priest began with the sign of the cross...Hah!! I knew all the responses and hymns....same old church!! I was almost lost in thoughts when the mass started...but after some time, I heard irritating voices from the back rows..they were two old grandmas, too busy talking about somebody's bad marriage reception!! Then...I had my dear friends copying their catechism homeworks....then...my attention was directed to the boys' section...they were standing in holy poses and seemed to be drinking in every word that escaped our priest's lip..later, I found out that they were actually looking at one of the pretty choir girls...Was anybody paying any attention at all???
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I rushed outta the church as soon as *mr priest* said "Mass is ended.....Go in peace"...I barely reached the door when I saw one of my old catechism teachers-Sr Maria Gracia..Okay..I was found guilty of 2 grievous sins.
1) I was running in the church
2) I wasnt wearing a scarf
I knew the best way to get myself outta trouble...Just smile:D....And I flashed my pearly whites...
me: Good morning sister...How are you??
she: Oh my girl!! Now I'm really busy with all the..blah blah blah
me: No wonder u lost weight;)
she: Did I???
me:oh yeah...u did..
she:(giggles)...when was your last confession anyway???
me:OMG!! WTF?!(I giv another sweet smile)... I forgot when my last confession was...
('Precepts of the church' says that you have to confess ur sins atleast once in a year...and...ehemm..my last confession was about 8 years ago)
she:(rolling her eyes)D'ya have any idea??
me: yeah...before my first communion..
she: Shame on you!! dont u feel ashamed to say that u r a catholic????
Okay...then u can imagine the rest....she unleashed her tongue n I was embarassed in front of the whole church...anyway...after that I went to the catechism classroom with my friends...I found my way to the back bench..the reaction of my catechism mates made me feel so unholy!!
"Oh orion!! it has been months since I saw u....when was ur last confession??"(why is everyone so obsessed with confessions??)..
"orion, how much didya score for the boards??"
who wants to face these tormenting questions just for a shitty certificate??I'm done...Which means...no more catechism!! and yeah...I mean it!!
